Thoughts: “Questions We Can’t Stomach or How to Glaze Over Things That Matter”

But who do you think goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell?

I was asked this question repeatedly this week. It’s a question that has created a lot of hurt in our world, a question that is looking for a means to an end we could never understand, but we can’t be comfortable with not knowing, we can’t be comfortable with believing that the evil of this world can be forgiven. This question sparks a lot of things within me: my chest aches in sorrow because there are people who believe that this is the ultimate goal; Heaven and Hell. My brain is wracked by the apathy and calloused acceptance of the thought of people being tortured by fire and fiend for eternity. My skin burns with rage for people’s inability to see that it’s not the point.

This post isn’t about whether or not I believe in the existence of Heaven or Hell. It’s not about how Heaven or Hell works or how it “brings glory to the Creator”. This question got me thinking quite a bit, I posed myself with a question: Why are we focused on the future and what we don’t have? When will we be grateful?

There’s a huge problem with human thought today. We can’t handle being uncomfortable, we turn our focus to how many likes we have on a photo, how clever our hashtags are, making our lives look picturesque and interesting. It’s kind of pathetic. Our days can be completely ruined because our data was throttled when there are people who don’t even have paper to communicate with one another, or someone put mustard on our McDoubles that we specifically asked for no mustard when there are children who work in sweat shops just for a few measly scraps of food, or we get furious because we have to wait in a line for 3 minutes at H&M to purchase a $20 scarf when the most prized possession that a kid in the Republic of Congo is a Nike t-shirt from 1980 that someone so kindly “donated” to United Way.

We have a perspective problem. I will go out of my way to avoid a panhandler because I don’t want to take the time and effort to help this person when it would take maybe 5 minutes tops and I work at a fucking homeless shelter with loads of resources. But my time is too precious. All the time I spend eating food that’s not good for me, watching reruns of American Dad (a show I don’t even really care for honestly), and God forbid I give up my time to indulge my porn addiction.

It’s no wonder I’m so cynical. I can’t see the good in this world because I’m such a big part of the problem. I’m over here watching porn indulging in the dehumanizing and devaluing of women, feeding into the ideological zeitgeist of acting like human trafficking isn’t a thing, eating fast food like twice a day and then throwing away half of it when there’s kids that I work with that are just getting out of a situation where they didn’t even have food, sitting on a phone all day and complaining that there’s nothing to occupy my time when there’s people out there who can’t even enjoy life because they’re working 3 jobs to avoid being evicted.

Sometimes I really wish I were one of the people who pretended that the world was a peach and their only problems were that they didn’t get whipped cream on their pumpkin spice latè. To live in ignorance so that way I weren’t always ruining moods or killing vibes. I would do so much to just be light-hearted. I just really want to not hate everything.

So who do you think goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell?

To be honest, I kind of wish we all went to Hell. That may sound pretty extreme, but with the way that our American culture sets us up, we’re really not that far off. We live in a world where we don’t bat an eye at those on the street starving, backing politicians who would sacrifice honorable military lives for oil and petty squabbles, charging ridiculous amounts of money for medical services because of a piece of paper some lady got from an Ivy League college.

I’m trying really hard to turn this around but I am just so pissed.

So who goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell?

If Christ came just to sort people into heaven and hell I think I’d rather believe the universe was a spontaneous event and be content with secular humanism. There has to be more to this life than just Heaven and Hell. I’m not gonna sit here and say, “Golly gee, just think on Heaven and the blessings to come.” This is what a lot of Christians do to cope with the world and feel better about suffering. But this thought is passive, it solves nothing and only makes apathy and being calloused okay. It’s non-committal. It’s passing the buck so we don’t have to have any more responsibilities. There’s no love in a mindset that focuses on Heaven and Hell.

My life and thoughts have changed a lot in the past year. I have been doing what I can to focus on Christ and the love of his actions. I’ve been trying to find Christ in the Old Testament. I’ve been trying to understand why he loves the way that he does. It’s shifted my perspective a lot. I find that the more I focus on letting religion go, the easier it is to see Jesus. I can love more fully, I can escape from these things that I do that are not productive and be grateful for what I have.

“I’m trying my best to be a better man. Despite all my fears, I really am.”

I’m trying to be more hopeful, trying to be more light-hearted, trying to be more grateful, trying to help others where I can. I’ve found a few people who help me do that. People I love and cherish, people who have the most gorgeous souls, people who love so deeply, people who make me feel light-hearted and loved. It’s a tough transition for a cynic, but it’s a worthwhile one.

It’s funny how the people who don’t know Christ have more willingness to love than those who do. It’s intriguing how those “destined for Hell” bring so much of Heaven to this earth. I just want to call for a perspective change. Be more grateful, love people, be involved and informed, soften our hearts.

We’re more than just being separated into “elect” and “fallen sheep”. We’re more.

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